i've been through and seen a lot
by bubblegumbrunette
Summary: After that kiss, they kiss in the morning when a cup of tea is brewing, they kiss when they potter around the houses and they kiss in the evening while dinner is cooking and when they're cuddled up on the couch watching the television. If Haymitch noticed anything then he didn't bring it up during their weekly dinners together.


**Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark**

 _'i've been through and seen a lot'_

Katniss brought Buttercup closer to her chest and ran a hand softly through his fur, when she lay on the couch with the cat on her chest in the silence was her favourite time of day. Buttercup would fall asleep on her and she'd spend the time running a hand slowly and softly through the fur as she let the silence wash over her, on some days the silence was a blessing but on others she'd find herself yearning for it to be filled with Peeta talking or his light laugh.

Her thoughts often turned to Peeta; she'd wonder how he was or what he was doing. She understood why he'd want to take a break away from District 12 and away from _her_ even though he never specified it was Katniss he wanted a break from; she wouldn't blame him for wanting untold miles and days apart from her. It was when she thought like this that she'd get a familiar ache in the bottom of her stomach.

On the days that Katniss had the motivation to actually venture outside of her home, she'd be met with questions, so many questions all about Peeta. " _Where is Peeta?_ ", " _When will Peeta come back?_ ", " _After everything, do you still love him?_ ".

Katniss smiled softly as she felt Buttercup's soft breaths hit her chest, the stupid cat had grown on her and she often thought Prim would be looking down on her happy that she was looking after her cat. Katniss often dodged the questions to the best of her ability but she would find herself lying on the couch, stroking Buttercup and thinking over everything she loved about Peeta.

Haymitch once said " _You could live a hundred life times and never deserve that boy_ ,"

Haymitch was right; she didn't deserve Peeta after everything they'd been through. Peeta had been honest with her about his feelings from the start, he'd done his best to protect her in the first Hunger Games by joining the careers and he had immediately visited Haymitch after the Quarter Quell had been announced. Katniss couldn't even remain faithful to him in their fake charade.

* * *

Katniss woke with a jolt and gasping for air, this wasn't unusual for her to do. It happened each night and Buttercup would move from the bottom of the bed to curl up beside Katniss's chest as she ran her hands through his fur to calm her racing heart.

She'd lie in the aftermath of her nightmare and just breathe; she'd run her hand through the soft fur and imagine Peeta on the other side of Buttercup with a smile on his face. He'd have been woken by Katniss's distress much like on the train when they'd share a bed together every night. However her nightmares were less frequent when she'd slept beside Peeta.

"You used to complain about that cat," Peeta would say lightly "now look at you two." He'd add as his fingers would brush beside hers in the cat's fur.

Katniss would lightly push his hand away as she'd murmur "He's got a way of making you want to keep him around,"

Then Katniss would shake her head slightly and force away the daydream for fear of going mad. The imaginary presence of Peeta helped to settle her enough to drift back off to sleep where her dreams were of orange sunsets, the smell freshly baked bread and the soft comforting touch of Peeta.

Katniss found comfort in the wide open fields where she could come and go freely; she could easily spend half a day in the fields just appreciating the view of the wide open expanse of _green_. And when she shoots an arrow for the first time it's _almost_ like how it used to be before the Games. Almost. It's when she slowly walked back to her house after catching the bird that she heard someone digging up ahead, it was unusual since Haymitch spent most of his days at the bottom of a bottle and since enduring the Games twice, Katniss could understand why he'd prefer the bottles of liqueur that line his kitchen table. She looked up to see him hunched over and occupied with what he was doing to notice her, it had her quickening her steps.

"Peeta," She breathed wondering if after all this time she had finally gone mad and given in to her delusions of him coming home.

He turned towards her and stood up slowly "Hey," he said softly.

"You came home," she said.

Peeta nods once "Yeah," he said "I was free to leave the Capitol yesterday." He added. Katniss takes in his words and glanced down at the plant in his hand, his gaze following as well. "I found them by the edge of the forest, its primrose." He said softly with a hint of caution. It's too much but Katniss dropped what she was holding and moved of her own accord, throwing her arms around his neck. He's solid in her arms and smells faintly of sweat and dirt. Peeta's unresponsive at first. "I'm so sorry," he murmured.

If this was a delusion of her imagination then there are worse things she could be conjuring up, he's here and in her arms. It's when Haymitch stumbled out of his house, a confused frown on his face and stopped dead when he saw her that he said "You're back,"

Peeta nodded his head "I was going to come by later," he said and Katniss realised this wasn't a delusion of her imagination and she wasn't insane. Peeta really had come home.

* * *

Katniss's life explodes with colour after Peeta returned home; even Haymitch seemed to have some better days with Peeta around. Sometimes Katniss looked at Peeta and wondered what was going on in his head, wondered what he thought about and then her mind would drift to him in the Capitol being tortured because of _her_. Peeta was a survivor and sometimes Peeta would grip the back of the chair to get through a flashback. Sometimes Peeta would play with Katniss's hair, braiding it and undoing it when she had a particularly rough day.

It had felt a lot like before, Peeta would drop some bread by and then they'd spend the whole day together never wandering too far from the other.

Peeta looked up from his dinner one night "I protected you in the first games," he said "real or not real?" he asked.

"Real," Katniss answered "I don't think I ever thanked you for that, I might not be sitting here today if you hadn't of led the careers away from me."

Peeta's lips lifted up ever so slightly "It's what you and I do," he said "we keep each other alive." He repeated the words she had once said to him.

"Do you still think about everything?" She asked softly, dinner forgotten.

Peeta averted his gaze to the table momentarily "I do my best to stay busy so I don't think over it too much," Peeta admitted "there are times when I can still hear Johanna's screams or I see Mags and Finnick."

"When I close my eyes I still see Rue, sometimes in the arena and sometimes in the painting you did. I remember Mags teaching me to do a knot, I think about losing Finnick, I think about when you hit the force field and your heart stopped and I can still hear the bombs going off." Katniss said hating how her voice wobbled slightly.

Peeta's hand found hers on the table and he laced their fingers together as they sat in a comfortable silence.

* * *

Peeta's been home for months when it happened. They were walking through the fields during the early evening, enjoying the green scenery and the pale pink and orange sky. This was quickly becoming one of Katniss's favourite time of day, walking through the fields with Peeta to get some fresh air and enjoy the openness of it all. "It's beautiful," Katniss commented as they walked hand in hand together, they were constantly touching or holding hands. It was comforting to know he was really there.

Peeta hummed softly in agreement "I like it when we walk out here and see families playing together," he said "laughing like they don't have a care in the world, it's nice to see such innocence."

"I suppose the only good thing to come out of everything is knowing what we had to go through wasn't for nothing," Katniss said.

Peeta stopped walking and lightly tugged her in for a hug, it was something they did randomly but it always had Katniss clinging to him a bit tighter and every single time she felt a shoot of relief go through her veins. She's not sure if she initiated it but they're kissing softly and briefly under the early evening sky. It felt natural and she didn't know she'd missed it that much until she was kissing him again.

After that kiss, they kiss in the morning when a cup of tea is brewing, they kiss when they potter around the houses and they kiss in the evening while dinner is cooking and when they're cuddled up on the couch watching the television. If Haymitch noticed anything then he didn't bring it up during their weekly dinners together, sometimes they'd spend all afternoon and evening in each other's company.

Haymitch isn't too bad to be around and Katniss can hardly believe how differently she sees him now compared to when she found out he was their mentor. He's started to raise geese when in the absence of being drunk.

Sometimes Effie visited them unannounced and joyous than ever. There'd be smiles, hugs and tears. Katniss doesn't remember Effie ever being so emotional but she'd sit opposite them and Katniss would notice a couple tears rolling down Effie's face as she looked between her and Peeta and she would say "I'm so sorry," through her tears "you two never deserved to live like this."

Peeta would offer comfort to Effie and Katniss still finds herself caught off guard whenever Effie apologises for something that was never Effie's fault.

It's not much longer that Peeta started staying over, so they could sleep without the interruption of nightmares. It doesn't totally hold them off but it's enough that they're not unbearable. Sometimes Katniss will jolt awake and Buttercup will move from the end of the bed to squeeze in between her and Peeta. "Hey you," Katniss would murmur softly, almost fondly.

She'd heard Peeta chuckle softly the first time he'd stayed round "You used to hate that cat," he said softly "real or not real?" he asked.

"Real," Katniss answered as she felt Peeta's fingers brush against hers as she ran her hand softly through the cat's fur. It's almost like one of her daydreams that it's painful; she leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips softly to remind herself that she hadn't gone insane because he was really there.

"Now look at you two," Peeta murmured.

Katniss smiled as she moved herself closer almost causing Buttercup to be lying on Peeta.

* * *

Katniss had never been good with using her words especially when it came to talking about her feelings and she knew Peeta understood that. They're tangled in the bedsheets, cuddling in the aftermath when Peeta said "You love me, real or not real?"

She may not have _loved_ him during their first Hunger Games but something between them had changed during those Games because by the time the Quarter Quell came round it was obvious she felt _something_. Katniss answered "Real," softly into their bedroom "so very real."

"Ask me," Peeta said as his hand ran through her hair and trailed down her back.

Katniss halted the circles she was drawing on his chest with her finger idly as she asked "You love me, real or not real?"

"Real," Peeta said "always." He added.

Katniss softly ran her hand over Peeta's chest before letting it settle above where his heart was beating a strong beat "I still remember the look on your face when your name got called out during the first reaping," Katniss admitted.

Peeta's hand stilled in her hair for a beat before he said "I think I remember thinking that was the last time I was going to stand in District Twelve," and he spoke so softly "I never could have predicted I would be here with you right now because of that day."

"I love you," Katniss murmured.

"I love you too Katniss," Peeta said.

* * *

Peeta never pushes Katniss but she sees it in the way he smiles at families he passes by with a longing look in his eyes or how he'll take the time out of his day to play with the children from the District, sometimes he even goes down to the school to do the odd art lesson with them. Katniss wants to give Peeta a child but every time she mulls it over a fear buries itself within her at the prospect of bringing a child into the world.

Peeta doesn't need to be told and Katniss loves that about him. Peeta's sweet, caring, loving and Haymitch was right – Katniss _could_ live a hundred life times and never deserve him but she makes it her mission to show him how much she loves him every day. She loves the life they have together, how simple it is. Peeta bakes bread and biscuits, paints in the evenings and does the occasional art lesson down at the school while Katniss hunts. They still have their weekly dinners and sometimes Haymitch will be up and over for breakfast.

It's easily noticed when Haymitch perks up a bit more and stops drinking as much as before but doesn't stop completely and Effie is the reason. Her visits are more frequent and it doesn't take long for Peeta and Katniss to piece together what exactly is going on with Haymitch and Effie. Katniss is happy for Haymitch, he deserved to be happy.

Peeta doesn't do anything too fancy because he knows Katniss doesn't need that. So he cooks a simple meal, candlelit and just the two of them. Katniss briefly wondered if she'd forgotten an anniversary but she doesn't think she's seen Peeta this nervous and considering everything they've endured together she's worried about whatever is playing on his mind until he reached into his pocket and moved from the chair to going down on one knee with a simple small black box in hand.

"Katniss Everdeen, I love you so much. I love our life together and I can't imagine being with anybody else. You make me feel safe and loved every single day, would you do me the honour of becoming my wif-" he said.

"-Yes!" Katniss exclaimed before he could even finish the word "Yes!" she said again happily never figuring herself to be one to cry when the love of her life would get down on one knee and ask the question but here she was, crying as Peeta slid the silver ring on her finger.

Peeta kissed her and Katniss laughed as their tears mingled together, dinner forgotten.

* * *

Katniss looked up briefly after having something catch her eye when her mouth dropped into an 'o' shape. "Prim?" she asked, breath catching in her throat at the sight of her sister.

" _Hello Katniss_ ," Prim said smiling " _you look so different_."

Katniss moved forward slightly at the sight of her sister standing in the doorway with Buttercup in her hands "I…" she said "I… I miss you." She added as she felt the tears burn her eyes.

" _I miss you too_ ," Prim said " _but I'm always with you Katniss, always. I wanted to say thank you for looking after Buttercup for me and that I'm happy that you're happy. You deserve all the happiness in the world_." She said smiling brightly.

Katniss wiped at her eyes, remembering the day Buttercup had passed away. She had spent the day on the couch with Peeta, the both of them crying their eyes out while Haymitch and Effie made them tea and comforted them. "Prim… I'm _so_ sorry." Is all Katniss finds herself able to say.

" _You have nothing to be sorry about_ ," Prim said " _I love you Katniss; remember I'm always with you. I'm so happy you have Peeta to look after you_."

Katniss opened her eyes to find Peeta murmuring "It's okay," in her ear and rubbing circles on her back soothingly as she cried into his shoulder.

"Prim," Katniss sobbed "I dreamt of Prim and Buttercup."

* * *

Katniss hears from her mother a lot more than she usually allowed but aside from Peeta, Haymitch and Effie, her mother is the only family she has left. Katniss looked at the gift bag sitting on the kitchen side she'd made up for Peeta; she couldn't wait for him to come home from the school. Peeta was patient and caring and he wanted to be a dad more than anything even after everything but Peeta had said that it's a new world, there is no Snow and there is no Hunger Games. They've lived a peaceful life for years.

"Katniss," Peeta called out as he took off his shoes and closed their front door behind them "I'm home."

Katniss was nervous, why was she nervous?

"Go in the living room," Katniss called out to him "I'll be there in a minute." She added as she grabbed the gift bag from the kitchen counter. She walked into the living room with one hand behind her back.

Peeta glanced at her curiously "Have I forgotten an anniversary or something?" he asked "because I'm sorry if I have!"

Katniss laughed softly "You've not missed anything," she said "just… open it." She added as placed the bag in his lap, sitting beside him.

Peeta looked cautious as he opened the bag and grabbed the first thing, he slowly unwrapped it to reveal a pregnancy test that was positive. Katniss watched his reaction go from surprise to shock to joy as his hands started to shake slightly as he looked up at her. "You're really pregnant?" he asked, his voice watery.

"Open the rest," she said smiling.

Peeta took out another gift she'd wrapped, and slowly unwrapped the paper with shaking hands. She wondered if she should have filmed his reaction but couldn't help the watery laugh she gave when she saw him put a hand over his mouth at the baby grow that read ' _I'm going to be a daddy_ '.

"Katniss," Peeta breathed "I thought…"

Katniss moved closer towards him "I love you," she said "and you've been nothing but patient and understanding with me, I'm ready to take this next step with you."

"I love you," Peeta said as tears rolled down his cheeks.

* * *

Katniss didn't expect Haymitch to cry; in fact she didn't think she'd ever seen him cry before. Effie she expected to cry so when both Effie and Haymitch both burst into tears at their announcement, Katniss didn't know what to do except to be swept into a hug by the two of them.

"Oh Katniss," Effie said "I'm so happy for you and Peeta."

* * *

Katniss expected Peeta to be wrapped around their daughter's finger but she never expected to feel _such love_ and protection over a beautiful baby girl who not only had Peeta wrapped but Haymitch, Effie and herself too. There are still days when she's fearful of it being taken from her and the nightmares don't stop, they never will. But she has Peeta, she has their daughter and she has this game.

A game where she lists _every_ good thing she witnesses someone do and it helps to calm her down.

She enjoys watching her daughter grow and learn but she fears for when she learns about her and Peeta's involvement in the Games they teach at the school and the rebellion, Peeta shares the same fear but they get through it a day at a time.

Katniss is surprised but not horrified the second time around to learn she is carrying again, Peeta is more than over the moon and their daughter is proud that she's going to be a big sister. Again there are tears on Effie's part and Haymitch isn't as emotional as the first time.

Katniss still wakes in the night with a jolt and gasping for air but with Peeta beside her calming her down and reminding her of the good life they have together and their daughter down the hall sleeping peacefully while their son snores heavily in the cot at the end of the bed she remembers that for now, they are safe. Katniss has Peeta and Haymitch is only a house away.

Katniss will forever hate how the Games have damaged her and Peeta but it satisfies her to know that her children will never have to know such fear.

"I love you," Katniss murmured into the darkness.

"I love you too," Peeta replied softly before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I love you mummy," A little voice said from the side of her bed "and I love you daddy."

Katniss smiled as she pulled the girl onto their bed for her to shift around before settling between Katniss and Peeta.

"We love you too," Peeta and Katniss said in unison.

* * *

 **A/N: I had Everlark feelings!**


End file.
